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Time Out New York
"Critic's Pick"
                                                   New York Times
"A well programmed night"
                                                                                                                     New York Daily News "Editor's Pick"

Nov 17, 2008

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE A.K.A. HOW TO WEIRD OUT A "GOSSIP GIRL" CAST MEMBER: A STEP BY STEP GUIDE

Step 1: Introduce yourself to "Gossip Girl" cast member.

Step 2: Immediately take photo while you're still considered sane.

Step 3: Find common ground to ignite conversation. Oh! You're Polish? I know a couple phrases...

Step 4: Rattle off your three known phrases (all very "a**" heavy):

A** hole!
Four legs in the bed, a sausage in the a**!
May a duck kick you in the a**!

Step 5: Wait for cast member's response:

Wow! Those aren't even normal phrases.

(You take this as a compliment, but are later informed that you kind of "creeped her out.")

Step 6: Go to after party and consume drinks on expense accounts.

Step 7: Chat online with father next day and mention the following:

I got into a little hot water yesterday.

Step 8: Realize you might have a slight problem when he quickly responds:

Oh no! Not the "four legs in the bed..."




Me and "Dorota" from "Gossip Girl"


6 comments:

Mrs.scribblerJones said...

this is foreign to me. loveyou.

little miss gnomide said...

AWESOME.

Okie said...

Popular TV show/Polish/alcohol/profanities = Goshko blog.

Regrets in the presence of psuedo celebrities = priceless.

Mrs.scribblerJones said...

You're so clever, I could jsut spamk you! That is my SISTER!!!

Mrs.scribblerJones said...

Just spank, I mean.

Rona said...

I seriously just laughed out loud. And now I am dragging my roommate over to read this.