Lock Up Your Daughters!

Apparently, I'm not enough. That's okay. We all deserve our own happiness. Ladies (and gents), Tater is officially in the dating pool. Jump in! #ExploiTater

And big thanks to Huffington Post for the feature on both front pages of HuffPo Comedy AND HuffPo Cats!

 

Never Give Up On Your Dreams! (Stallone Edition)

Well, I tried! #FarFromOver #Never Over #StalloneTonesForever

Also...hello, internet! We're back!

"Staying Alive 30 Year Anniversary Party" Now Has A TRAILER!

Oh my gosh, you guys. Do you remember when this happened? When we all got together and collectively geeked-out over the 30 year anniversary of the movie, "Staying Alive"? Well, in case you've forgotten due to the intense amount of fun we had, or if you just weren't able to be there because you were being held hostage in a den of rabid bears, you can now re-live it thanks to the wonderful editing talents of Andy Christie!

Here, for your viewing and listening pleasure, is the official trailer for the Staying Alive 30 Year Anniversary Party!

Apple Bottom Jeans & Boots wit' da Furrrrr...

New HuffPo article is up! And Tater is at it again. This time, he has a new career goal: to star in a rap video. I'm not here to judge, just to support.

5 Reasons Kitten Proves He Should Be In A Rap Video

New Webseries! Classical Idiot Episode 1: Mozart Loves Butts

Hi! Here's a new idiotic thing I'm doing. I'd say it's a "web series" but it's me talking to myself in a room with my cat while combining comedy with classical music. Oh, did I mention it's idiotic?

Thoughts Become Things: Frank Stallone Edition

Anyone who knows me knows that I genuinely and enthusiastically love the movie Staying Alive. And I don't love it in a tongue-in-cheek Entertainment Weekly-named-it-the-worst-sequel-of-all-time kind of way. I emphatically enjoy it and maintain that it's a good movie to watch. When I was a high school teacher (yeah, that happened) I used to quote and re-enact scenes from it to my students--sorry to all my students who will never be able to un-see that.

So, imagine my utter delight when yesterday THIS happened:

Frank Stallone favorited and retweeted our upcoming "Staying Alive" 30 year Tribute Party at Union Hall!!!!

In case you've been living under a rock, or just have never seen "Staying Alive" which is synonymous to me as living under a rock, Frank Stallone wrote and performed the iconic song "Far From Over" featured in the movie. 

After a gig one night over drinks, I was talking with some fellow comedians about how cool it would be to do a tribute party to Staying Alive. And lo and behold, this was the 30 year anniversary of the movie. I wanted to show video clips, have live commentary, and create a houseband--The StalloneTones--that would cover songs from the movie. And guess what?...THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS! 

On Wednesday, July 10th, the lovely Union Hall in Brooklyn is hosting us and our Staying Alive 30 year Tribute Party. And yes, there will be commentary and dance and prizes and trivia and The StalloneTones! I'm seriously so excited I might wet myself. 

So, thanks to Union Hall for hosting us! Thanks to Frank Stallone for making me squeal with delight at a retweet! Thanks to everyone who's going to be involved with the event! And thanks to everyone who's already planning on coming out to support. This is a dream come true. My Stallone dream...

Staying Alive 30 year Tribute Party

Wednesday, July 10, 8pm

Union Hall, Brooklyn

$8, Tickets available HERE!

My 75-Year-Old Dad Reviews "Shaun of the Dead"

Latest HuffPo piece: I sent my 75-year-old dad "Shaun of the Dead" and these were his thoughts.

Derangement of the Senses (New York, NY)

One of my favorite shows to perform on is Derangement of the Senses at Happy Ending Lounge in New York City. How can you not love a show that describes itself as the following:

Derangement of the Senses is a fiction & poetry reading series focusing on multimedia expressionism, people who don't recount stories in a terrifying monotone, the eroticism of fiction, and other incredible acts of literary dynamo. Burlesque performers dance as their favorite literary characters, artists manically illustrate stories live, and cacophonous electronic music swells through amplification of light by the stimulated emission of radiation! The reading is inspired by the proto-punk French poet Arthur Rimbaud, who asserted that the purpose of literature is to f*ck you up.

Awesome, right? Big thanks to the DOTS gang for recording my last performance about mailing dead birds to my first boo. And based on how crazy that sounds, I deserve to have this screen grab. Oy...

Dear Lord, Please Send Me A Mr. McGibblets Costume!

The League is a TV show that can pretty much crack me up any time I watch it. I wish I could watch it more but I don't own a TV and the last time I tried to download an episode of it online I got a computer virus that crashed my entire hard drive and made life miserable for a while.

Anywho...

My all-time favorite character on the show isn't one of the lead actors. It isn't an occasional featured performer. It's a fictitious character known as Mr. McGibblets, and he gets me every time.

Just look:



Okay, so you may not be able to grasp the entire breadth and depth of Mr. McGibblets' awesomeness from that clip (you really need to watch the whole episode). But you can imagine how stoked I was when I saw THIS:

  

IT'S A MR. MCGIBBLETS HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

I don't normally get into Halloween. I don't even really care about wearing costumes. But you know what? I care about THIS costume! I would wear this effing costume every single day! Can you imagine the possibilities? Mr. McGibblets walks around Central Park. Mr. McGibblets buys a Metro Card. Mr. McGibblets tries speed dating and then hits rock bottom and gets a sponsor. This is my calling! I was meant to inhabit Mr. McGibblets!

I write this in hopes that my husband, okieinthecity, will see this post and think, "My wife deserves a Mr. McGibblets costume" and then buy it for me. I might also make mention that it is currently 50% off right now (That's right! HALF off!) We can have Christmas Mr. McGibblets. Hanukkah Mr. McGibblets. Flag Day Mr. McGibblets. The options are endless!!!

So, okieinthecity. How much do you love your wife? Sure, you could buy me an expensive bottle of perfume. OR...you could pocket the difference and buy me this kick-ass costume that I would wear every single day. Yes, you'd then officially be married to an explicitly mentally unstable person. But look at that polyestor face. Isn't it worth it?

PS--I'm totally serious that I want this.

Turning Neighbor Woe Into HuffPo!

If you've ever had or currently have horrible neighbors, then I wrote this for you. Turning neighbor woe into HuffPo, "Now Accepting Submissions for the I Have the Worst Neighbors Ever Award!"

Just another reason I love my band...

They take pictures like this during rehearsal. Thanks, Colin Dempsey!

and yes, when I don't straighten my hair, it really can get that big. You're welcome.

Good AfterGoon!

Today, my Monday afternoon was brightened by co-hosting the very fun live show Good Aftergoon with the fabulous Glennis McMurray! Every day at 3pm, Glennis invites a new co-host from the comedy world to join her and talk about all things...well, all things! And in case you missed us, don't worry! You can watch us here and now by just clicking on our cute little faces below:

In this episode, we talk about owls scooping up mice, dead bodies, anniversaries, and our mutual love of Kendra. It's a good one, trust me.

"That's Not Normal"--A dinnertime conversation

Last night, the husband and I went out for an adult dinner with friends. I say "adult dinner" because it wasn't grabbing a slice of pizza on the street after sitting in a crowded bar for several hours watching a bunch of twenty-somethings trying to get laid. And as part of the adult dinner routine, we went back to our friends' place for post-meal conversation where the inevitable question came up:

"So, you guys thinking of having kids?"

Me: "No. And every time I see kids, I can't help but think that the boys will grow up to be drug dealers and the girls hookers."

To which my host responded:

"Um, that's not a normal reaction."

Maybe I should stick with pizza on the street.

Although this little girl didn't grow up to be a hooker, she did grow up to be a comedian which some may argue is just as bad.

Father Knows Best

My dad's response to me wishing him Happy Father's Day: "Wish you could find your biological dad."

Best. Dad. Ever!

the classic "Father Knows Best"

A Holiday Video Card from Yours Truly!

"Happy Holidays" to you and yours from me and mine!

"Works well with children"

After purchasing my metro card, I turn to my husband and say,

"Who puts their stroller right in front of the metro machine?!?"

He replies,

"Who kicks a baby stroller?"

*guilty as charged*