Sideshow Goshko

I'm Heading to Yale!!!

2012-02-01T12:43:00.000-08:00

Well, not for academics. But for sexademics. That's right! I'll be performing with the long-running and hilarious show "Stripped Stories" as part of Yale University's "Sex Week!"

via Yale's "Sex Week" website:

"Sex Week is a biennial series of events and workshops on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships organized by and for Yale students. We believe these discussions are vital for young adults developing self-understanding and responsibility within a liberal arts education."

So, if you happen to be in the neighborhood, why not drop on by?!

"Stripped Stories"

in conjunction with Yale University's "Sex Week"

Wednesday, February 8th, 8pm

Saybrook Underbrook
FREE!

Wear something sexy and we'll see you there!

Just another reason I love my band...

2012-01-25T09:54:00.000-08:00

They take pictures like this during rehearsal. Thanks, Colin Dempsey!

and yes, when I don't straighten my hair, it really can get that big. You're welcome.

3 year Anniversary Sideshow Goshko is a Time Out NY "Critic's Pick!"

2012-01-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

On Friday, January 13th, 2011, it happens...The 3 Year Anniversary of Sideshow Goshko! Join us as we celebrate 3 years of storytelling with an amazing cast. Hear true tales from:

ELNA BAKER (This American Life)

SARA BENINCASA (author "Agorafabulous")

PETER AGUERO (Moth GrandSlam Champion)

And huge thanks to Time Out New York for naming us a "Critics' Pick!"

So, mark your calendars and we'll see you there.

Sideshow Goshko 3 Year Anniversary Show

Friday, January 13th, 7pm

KGB Bar (85 E. 4th Street)

FREE!

Catching Up!

2011-12-28T10:30:00.000-08:00

Phew! Well, now that the holiday madness has settled down a bit, it's time to play a bit of catch up. Hope all of you had a very Happy Holiday! With New Year's just around the corner, let's go over what's happened this last month of 2011 (and what's to come):

Thanks to Funny Not Slutty for featuring my article For $19.95, Shit Can Get Real This Christmas!" You can read the full piece HERE!

Also, thanks to everyone who came out to the last Sideshow Goshko of 2011! Great stories, great audience, and it was the perfect way to close out the year in style. Full photo set available HERE! (courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice)

(L to R) Kambri Crews, Michelle-Leona Godin, Leslie Goshko, Giulia Rozzi, Andy Ross)

Next month will be our 3 Year Anniversary Show! WHAT?! That's right. So mark your calendars for Friday, January 13th, 7pm at KGB Bar. FREE! We'll have stories from these amazing performers:

SARA BENINCASA (author "Agorafabulous")
ELNA BAKER (This American Life)
PETER AGUERO (Moth GrandSlam Champion)

And last but not least, did you know I play piano? Well, I do. I even went to college for that shiz. So, why not join up with 3 other award-winning storytellers and make a band? Ok, done. And on Tuesday, January 10th, 8pm-midnight @ Fontana's, we're having our first full-length set. FREE! Know why it's Free? 'Cause it's a party! So come rock out with Single White Band, have a drink or twelve, and listen to us either do alright or cry on stage. Either way, it will be entertaining.


poster courtesy Andy Christie

And don't forget, this Saturday, December 31st, 5:30pm @ Cornelia Street Cafe is The Liar Show! It's always a ton of fun, and the perfect way to kick off your booze-induced evening. I'll be there! But then again, where there's booze and fun...

So, hope to catch you at one or all of these fun shows! Consider yourself officially invited. Happy end of 2011/beginning of 2012, everyone!!! You made this a great year. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Good AfterGoon!

2011-12-05T17:02:00.000-08:00

Today, my Monday afternoon was brightened by co-hosting the very fun live show Good Aftergoon with the fabulous Glennis McMurray! Every day at 3pm, Glennis invites a new co-host from the comedy world to join her and talk about all things...well, all things! And in case you missed us, don't worry! You can watch us here and now by just clicking on our cute little faces below:

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In this episode, we talk about owls scooping up mice, dead bodies, anniversaries, and our mutual love of Kendra. It's a good one, trust me.

Back to Back Sideshows. WHAT?!

2011-11-29T06:06:00.000-08:00

Hey All! Just wanted to say a huge "thanks" to everyone who came out to November's Sideshow Goshko! Great audience, solid performances, and good times all-around. Don't forget to mark your calendar for the next Sideshow on Friday, December 9th, 7pm @ KGB Bar. Also, I'll be running a 4 mile race the following day at 8am. So, if you want to see how Friday night whiskey affects Saturday morning running, come on out!

See you there and enjoy the following pictures from last month's show. All courtesy of the lovely Maryanne Ventrice.

(L to R) Dr. Michelle, Jim O'Grady, Leslie Goshko, David Dickerson, Selena Coppock)

No one's quite sure of what's in the Sideshow Sauce.

Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin looking lovely as usual.

David Ellis Dickerson explaining why he's the spelling bee champ, or not.

Selena Coppock may look innocent, but she will pick a bar fight with you in Chicago.

And as evidenced by his rock 'n roll attitude, Jim O'Grady is the biggest badass of the Bronx.

Me and Sarah Silverman (seriously)

2011-11-21T13:46:00.000-08:00

I'm very honored to be featured in this Huffington Post article (by Carol Hartsell) alongside the likes of Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garofalo, and more! Us ladies talk about the funny.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE!

*all photos courtesy of the lovely and talented Mindy Tucker

Okie in the City at the Nuyorican? Success!

2011-11-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

In case you weren't able to make it to the Okie in the City Artists Collective at the Nuyorican, here's the 1 1/2 hr show distilled down to :40 seconds. Also, we had a blast! Thank you to everyone who performed and came out. The most fun we've had at a reading yet.

the collective (L to R) Michelle-Leona Godin, Christian Ericson, Colin Dempsey, Leslie Goshko, Kyle Erickson, Andy Christie, Daniela Schiller, Steven Leyva)

Dr. Michelle and her Avant Accordion Brain Smash

Okie founder Kyle Erickson

Kick Assonance member Christian Ericson

Kick Assonance member Steven Leyva

Single White Band pianist Leslie Goshko

Single White Band drummer Daniela Schiller

Single White Band members Andy Christie & Daniela Schiller

Single White Band bassist Colin Dempsey

*all photos courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice

Poetry, Music, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes!

2011-11-09T05:24:00.000-08:00

Well, we're all a-twitter over here 'cause tomorrow is the long awaited Okie in the City Artists Collective! It's gonna be a crazy fun night of performance art, poetry, and live music. And because we think you're special (yes, YOU!), you can get $2 off your ticket price right now by pre-ordering on line.

All you have to do is click HERE!

See? Easy! So here's all the deets:

Okie in the City Artists Collective

Thursday, November 10th, 6:30pm doors, 7pm show. Sharp!

$8 online pre-sale, $10 at the door

featuring...

Avant Accordion Brain Smash by
DR. MICHELLE-LEONA GODIN

Original poetry from "Kick Assonance" (Time Out NY "Critic's Pick")

KYLE ERICKSON
STEVEN LEYVA
CHRISTIAN ERICSON

And closing night music by
SINGLE WHITE BAND which is:

ANDY CHRISTIE
COLIN DEMPSEY
LESLIE GOSHKO
DANIELA SCHILLER

Also, for your reading pleasure, why not head over to funnynotslutty.com to read my latest piece, "True Facts About the Pumpkin Spice Latte." You'll learn a lot.

Excuse me...

2011-10-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

Excuse me, but is that my face?

photo by http://jirkavinse.wordpress.com/

92Y Recap

2011-10-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well, we had our debut at the beautiful 92YTribeca, and let me tell you, it was a blast! Thanks so much to everyone who came out and helped make it a fantastic evening. And in case you missed it, you can read all about it in this review by Jester Journal. Also, thanks to Anya Garrett for the awesome pics. We love 'em!

Next month we're back at KGB for another installment of Sideshow Goshko. So, mark your calendars for Friday, November 18th, 7pm and we'll see you there.

Moth GrandSlam Champion Ed Gavagan

Emmy-nominated host of "Blues Clues" Steve Burns

Yours truly

(L to R) Michelle-Leona Godin, Leslie Goshko, Tom Shillue

My Sidekick and I

Full flickr set HERE! All photos courtesy of Anya Garrett

I can find a way to work whiskey into any conversation!

2011-10-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Read for yourself:

Culture Klatsch Questionnaire with 92YTribeca!

See you at tonight's show!!!

Me and Ira Glass

2011-10-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Recording with Ira Glass at This American Life. Not a bad way to brighten a rainy day.

I'm a happy girl.

The man, the myth, the legend.

FREE 92YTribeca Sideshow Tickets!

2011-10-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

Three truisms:

1. Shows can be expensive.

2. People are broke.

3. Everyone likes "FREE!"

Hence, why we're super thankful to the folks over at flavorpill.com for giving away FREE tickets to this Thursday's Sideshow Goshko @ 92YTribeca. Answer the trivia question and be entered to win.

What are you waiting for? It's FREE! Click HERE for your chance to win!

The Container Store

2011-10-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

As a comedian, I've had my share of performing at interesting venues: abandoned factories, strangers' living rooms, restaurants where people were eating and had no idea they were about to get bombarded by a live comedy show...so needless to say, when I found out that last night's gig was going to be outside, at night, under a tent, surrounded by converted shipping containers, I was a little skeptical.

photo courtesy of Stephanie Ursula Hodges

But, alas, it was a charming little space known as the DeKalb Market. Surrounded by shipping containers that have been transformed into shops and cafes, you can sit at picnic tables under a canopy of twinkling lights and listen to some of New York's favorite storytellers. Last night's show was produced by PenTales in association with BBOX Radio and hosted by the lovely Stephanie Ursula Hodges (which how cool is it to have "Ursula" as your middle name? I'll tell you. Very!).

Thanks to my partner in crime, Colin Dempsey, for sharing in the evening and for bringing the wine. Oh, did I mention? You can sip hooch out of paper bags and no one even blinks an eye. It's Brooklyn. We can get away with that.

So, thanks to all who came out last night and thanks to Stephanie and PenTales for having me. Had a blast!

Again, we're super serious

2011-10-05T12:50:00.001-07:00

September SG Recap

2011-10-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful friends and followers (and mom)!

Well, it was another rainy day, but like I always say...our audience is the BEST! They put on their galoshes, threw back a shot of whiskey, and headed out into the wet to join us for another Sideshow Goshko. With a full house, lively stories, and Dr. Michelle back in the sidekick seat, it was a great evening.


(L to R) Rob Lathan, Leslie Goshko, Nisse Greenberg, Cammi Climaco, Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin (and her sidekick, Igor)

First up we had Nisse Greenberg, host of Drawn Out Storytelling, who illustrated that just because you're on mushrooms, doesn't mean reality isn't just as strange.


Nisse Greenberg

Next up we had the very funny Rob Lathan who showed it takes tenacity to get banned from CNN Talkback. But one good way is to start off by saying, "Hi, I'm Rob and I'm an alcoholic..."


Rob Lathan

Yours truly followed with a tale of racial profiling, stalkers, and predestination...not necessarily in that order.


Leslie Goshko

And finally, cutie patootie Cammi Climaco showed that if you're in a deep depression, you might want to avoid NY art galleries.


Cammi Climaco

Next month, we're super stoked to be making our debut at 92Y Tribeca Mainstage! Tickets are available HERE and we'll be featuring a stellar lineup with tales from:

STEVE BURNS (Emmy-nominated host of Blues Clues)
TOM SHILLUE (The Daily Show, Comedy Central)
ED GAVAGAN (Moth GrandSlam Champion)

and of course, live accordion music by DR. MICHELLE-LEONA GODIN!

Thank you all so much for your continued support and encouragement! I say this with the utmost sobriety...We heart you guys!

Okay, now let's have a drink.

**All photos courtesy of the very talented Maryanne Ventrice.**

Sideshow Goshko, The New Yorker Festival, & John Lithgow!

2011-09-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's exciting enough to be named a "Notable New York Event", what with all the great things going on in this city. But it's doubly exciting to be named a "Notable New York Event" alongside the New Yorker Festival and John Lithgow. Huge thanks to The Rumpus for the shout out! You know we love you, right?

"That's Not Normal"--A dinnertime conversation

2011-09-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

Last night, the husband and I went out for an adult dinner with friends. I say "adult dinner" because it wasn't grabbing a slice of pizza on the street after sitting in a crowded bar for several hours watching a bunch of twenty-somethings trying to get laid. And as part of the adult dinner routine, we went back to our friends' place for post-meal conversation where the inevitable question came up:

"So, you guys thinking of having kids?"

Me: "No. And every time I see kids, I can't help but think that the boys will grow up to be drug dealers and the girls hookers."

To which my host responded:

"Um, that's not a normal reaction."

Maybe I should stick with pizza on the street.

Although this little girl didn't grow up to be a hooker, she did grow up to be a comedian which some may argue is just as bad.

Expert Time-Wasters

2011-09-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

Until we reschedule our Bowery gig, we remain professional time-wasters.

What's Coming Down the Pipe?

2011-08-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

Over here in Goshko land (which is basically a combination of my mind and a thimble of Jim Beam) we're excited for some upcoming developments (didn't that sound official..."developments"?). So, if you're into marking up calendars, here's some fun dates to scrawl all over:

Thursday, October 20th, 7pm

92Y Tribeca presents SIDESHOW GOSHKO!

92Y Tribeca is a beautiful, magical place that is the home to numerous film festivals, cultural activities, and world-renowned speakers. So, needless to say, we are absolutely THRILLED that they asked Sideshow Goshko to come present a special edition of our show on Thursday, October 20th, 7pm on the mainstage. Already confirmed are Steve Burns (Emmy-nominated host of Blues Clues) and Adam Wade (17-time Moth Storyslam Champ). I guarantee, this is going to be an evening not to be missed.

Thursday, November 10th, 7pm

NUYORICAN presents OKIE IN THE CITY ARTIST'S COLLECTIVE

Award-winning storyteller Leslie Goshko (Sirius XM, WNYC, MM Slam Champ) hosts a curated evening of original poetic works and music! Join poetic team "Kick Assonance" (Time Out NY "Critic's Pick") Kyle Erickson, Steven Leyva and Christian Ericson as they celebrate their debut performance at the Nuyorican. Featuring limited edition handmade books, live music, and original poetry from the scene's finest up-and-coming poets, this is an evening not to be missed! Doors at 6:30pm, show at 7pm. Tickets are $10, $8 pre-sale or with a student ID. Get 'em HERE!

Thursday, September 29th, 7pm

Sideshow Goshko @ KGB Bar

Join us at the KGB bar for a night of true stories, trivia, and of course, good strong drinks and laughs. Time Out New York "Critic's Pick", New York Daily News "Editor's Pick."

See you at the show!

I Love My Job

2011-08-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

One of the perks of my profession is that I get to meet some of the most ridiculously talented people in the entertainment industry. And 9 times out of 10, they end up being kind-hearted, decent people. And on last week's Sideshow Goshko, I got to host and perform with three of my absolute favorite storytellers. Thanks to Adam Wade, Colin Dempsey, and Andy Christie for a stellar night of laughs and stories! Thanks to our amazing audience who continues to support us, and thanks to all the internet/print mavens who gave us press. It is with a humble bow that I say, "Thank you!"

(L to R) Andy Christie, Leslie Goshko, Colin Dempsey, and Adam Wade

Time Out New York features Sideshow Goshko in both their Comedy and Books sections!

The Skint names Sideshow Goshko a New York event worth checking out around town today HERE.

Hyreviews.com names Sideshow Goshko a "Top Comedy Pick!" HERE.

Zouch Literary Magazine reviewed last month's Sideshow Goshko in their piece, The Artist As Storyteller! Read all about it HERE.

Mark your calendars for next month's Sideshow Goshko on Thursday, September 29th, 7pm @ KGB Bar!

all photos courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice

Save The Date!

2011-08-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

WHAT: Single White Band: Plugged

WHO: 4 storytellers who happen to play instruments and like classic rock

WHERE: The thick of your dreams (or the Bowery Poetry Club)

WHEN: Tuesday (which everyone knows is the best day to rock out), August 30th, 7pm

WHY: Because it's gonna be too f*cking weird NOT to check out. Plus Colin will be drunk and wearing tiny girl shorts.

THE GIST: We're having an end-of-the-summer blowout party and everyone's invited! It's FREE, there's a full bar, and dancing is the universal language.

Single White Band is:

ANDY CHRISTIE: Guitar/Bass
COLIN DEMPSEY: Bass/Guitar
LESLIE GOSHKO: Keyboard/Keyboard
DANIELA SCHILLER: Drums/Awesomeness

SEE YOU THERE!

*video by the talented Andy Christie

G.A.P. #1

2011-07-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new blog series called G.A.P. (until the GAP store yells at me and tells me to change the name). And what does G.A.P. stand for? I'll tell you...Genuinely. Awesome. People. Sure, there can be some pretty douchey folks in the entertainment industry. But just as easily as I could go off about that, I could also just as easily shine a light on some of the amazing talent that I am so privileged to work with. So, for our first feature in the G.A.P. series, I present to you...Mindy Tucker!


photo by Marianne Ways, lighting by Kurt

If you've never seen any of Mindy Tucker's amazing photography, do yourself a favor and go there right now! She is the creator behind the site withreservation.com and can be found snapping pics at some of New York's hottest comedy shows. Not only is Mindy a fantastic photographer, but she's a painter, artist, and true Southern lady. I dare you not to fall in love with her Southern lilt. Seriously, I double dog dare you. I'm so honored to have been a part of several of her projects and below are just a few of the shots we've taken together. Mindy Tucker, congratulations! You are a Genuinely. Awesome. Person.

all photos below courtesy of Mindy Tucker


The first time I ever met Mindy Tucker, she was completely gracious. I raved like a lunatic about how much I loved her work and her reply was, "Let's get a shot of you!" A class act all the way.


part of the "Conversation" series performing at "Sacapuntas!" part of the "Funny Girls on Film Festival" Headshot

We Did Indeed Kick Assonance!

2011-07-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

Last week I got to host the much-anticipated, Kick Assonance Poetry Reading. Now, you may say, "Poetry? Laaaaaaaaame." But believe me, with a packed house, Jack Daniels drink specials, and some really funny yet moving stuff, it was a blast. Thanks to Kyle Erickson (the brain child behind the event) for asking me to host and share in an amazing evening. Me and four good-looking, talented young men? Not a bad gig.


(L to R) Kyle Erickson, Christian Ericson, Leslie Goshko, Steven Leyva, Sei Shiroma)

And as proof that I was correctly cast as host and not poet, I present to you a reading from my high school poetry journal. My apologies in advance.

Photo by Maryanne Ventrice. Full gallery HERE!

Take That, Violet Beauregarde!

2011-07-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

My mom on the phone to me: "Yeah, for some reason you kept turning blue as a baby. Something to do with your esophagus. I don't know, you grew out of it..." This message brought to you by "parents who go with the flow."

Violet Beauregarde (Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory)

Better Late Than Never

2011-06-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

This post is way overdue, but fear no more. It's here!

Last month's Sideshow Goshko was, shall I say...Awesome! A packed house, standing room only, the best audience in the world (I mean that), and amazing storytellers who brought the goods.

(L to R) Ophira Eisenberg, Robin Gelfenbien, Leslie Goshko, Steve Zimmer, Michelle-Leona Godin

Robin Gelfenbien started us out with a story that involved more than one *ahem* "wiener."

Next up we heard from Steve Zimmer who proved you shouldn't go head to head with him in Tetris.

Next was yours truly with a warning of why you should never get into a boat with me.

And rounding up the night was funny lady Ophira Eisenberg with a story that will all make us think of creme brulee differently.

Join us for our next show on Friday, July 15th, 7pm @ KGB Bar for stories from Margot Leitman, Carter Edwards, and Dan Allen. FREE!

My trusty sidekick, Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin

Best Audience in the world!

All photos courtesy of Cathryn Lynne photography.

Father Knows Best

2011-06-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

My dad's response to me wishing him Happy Father's Day: "Wish you could find your biological dad."

Best. Dad. Ever!

the classic "Father Knows Best"

Happy Early Father's Day

2011-06-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

My dad on the phone to me: "Just so you know, I plan on being an a**hole on Thursday."

HAPPY EARLY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!

Me and Dad with my rockin' Barney Rubble bottle.

I wouldn't have believed it if you told me.

2011-06-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I participated in and completed the NYRR Women's Mini 10K (that's 6.2 miles for all you who are like, "What the heck is a 10k?" I was one of those people).

photo courtesy Brightroom Photgraphy

The race was absolutely amazing and I had so many people who encouraged and helped me along the way. A huge THANK YOU to those people, and you know who you are.

One thing I do find humorous is how easy it is to see the end product of something without consideration of the behind-the-scenes work. Almost exactly one year ago today, I weighed 30 lbs heavier. And that wasn't even my heaviest! Try 50 lbs!!! What? I know. (what can I say? I liked late-night pizza) Over a year's worth of work to get down to where I could even consider running a race. And then after that, almost two month's training for the actual race itself. And all of that can get summed up into one FB photo "like" (not that I'm complaining. I like your "likes." Please like my pictures. I need attention!).

"What's your point?" you ask. It's this. It's so easy to idealize the end and forget the work it takes to get there. People see a published best-selling book. They don't see the relentless hours of butt-in-chair writing even when you'd rather pull your hair out strand by strand. Broadway musicals are visually stunning. Waiting in equity lines for hours just to get an audition are not. The list goes on and on. In the age of reality TV where for a couple months you compete and then win your dream, we forget that that's not really "reality." There's no big secret here. It comes down to knowing what you want and doing a little bit everyday. And some days you aren't gonna wanna go to the gym, or write, or meet up with people. You'll just wanna stay home and have an afternoon whiskey while watching The Cosby Show on Netflix. And you know what? That's okay too. Because there's this other really cool thing that goes along with achieving your dreams...grace.

Time Out New York Endorsed!

2011-06-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to Time Out New York for naming our upcoming Sideshow Goshko a TONY "Critic's Pick!" We love you, TONY!

Proof is in the pudding HERE!

What I Learned At Long Beach

2011-06-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

1. No matter how much you shower or shake your beach sh*t out, sand will end up in your apartment. EVERYWHERE!

2. You WILL see a trashy couple having sex on the beach in front of children and you will ask yourself, "How on earth do I even begin to explain this to anyone?"

3. In order to deal with said sand and sex situations, bring a friend who will make you incessantly laugh your head off for three hours straight.

So. Much. Sand. Thank you, Lonster, for the best beach education ever!

June Sideshow Goshko!

2011-06-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

You've seen them on Comedy Central, The Moth, and the New York International Fringe Festival! This month's Sideshow Goshko is going to be a doozy.

Award-winning storyteller Leslie Goshko (Manhattan Monologue Slam Champion, NY Fringe Excellence Award, Sirius XM) invites some of NY’s top writers and storytellers to share true, bizarre tales about their lives. There’s live accordion music, a challenging trivia game, and a free wine giveaway where one lucky audience member will walk away with their very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce! Tonight's stellar lineup includes stories from:

Ophira Eisenberg (Comedy Central, VH1, Moth Host)

Steve Zimmer (Moth GrandSlam Champion)

Robin Gelfenbien (New York International Fringe Festival)

Time Out NY “Critic’s Pick”

New York Daily News "Editor's Pick"

Sideshow Goshko

Friday, June 17th, 7pm-9pm

KGB Bar (85 E. 4^th Street)

FREE

http://www.kgbbar.com/calendar

I'm Hosting a Poetry Reading. WHAT?!

2011-06-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

And it's gonna Kick Assonance! okieinthecity: Kicking Wednesday Interviews

photo courtesy Maryanne Ventrice

Tourettes, Sailors, and Storytellers. Just another Memorial Day Weekend!

2011-06-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

Hello, my name is Leslie, and I suffer from "Fleet Week Tourettes." Every year when Memorial Day Weekend rolls around, so do hundreds of handsome young Sailors and Marines. And no matter how hard I try, when I see one of those dapper gents, I blatantly point in their direction and repeatedly scream, "Fleet Week! Fleet Week!" It's meant as a compliment. As if I'm saying, "Thank you for your service to our country! And PS, you look smokin' hot in your uniform." Instead, it looks like I'm off my meds as I stand, point, salivate, and shout. So, to give the young men and women of our armed services a break from my mania, I took myself up to the KGB Bar to host another Sideshow Goshko! Thanks to all of the lovely storytellers and audience who came out. You are all amazeballs! And now, to recap:

MY SIDEKICK IS BACK! After a couple busy months of gigs and traveling, Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin was back in the sidekick buddy seat as our live accordion playing DJ. Welcome back, Doc!

The evening started off with the ridiculously talented and handsome Ed Gavagan sharing a tale of how he took Elizabeth Taylor (yes, THE Elizabeth Taylor! White Diamonds Elizabeth Taylor!) on a shopping trip in Tangier. What did YOU do with your summer vacation?

Then we heard from Sharon "Mama" Spell who explained to us the absolute necessity of Scrubbing Bubbles. They're not just for show, all you bachelors out there.

Next was yours truly reading entries from my high school journal which proved that it's very difficult to date Christ and a future drug dealer at the same time.

And lastly, Brad Lawrence rounded up the evening with a tale of his equestrian prowess (or lack thereof). Prospect Park will never be the same.

Again, thanks so much to everyone who came out! Our next show is Friday, June 17th, 7pm at KGB Bar. Can't wait to tell you who's going to be on that one!

(L to R) Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin, Sharon Spell, Brad Lawrence, Ed Gavagan, Leslie Goshko)

Storytellers and Husband-Wife team, Cyndi Freeman & Brad Lawrence

Model Karen VonMoses, Writer Kyle Erickson

And just some of our pretty audience

As always, thanks to Maryanne Ventrice for taking awesome photos! All photos are courtesy of her, so if you use one, be sure to give her credit. Full gallery HERE!

Good Morning!

2011-05-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Comedians are just like you! We go to the grocery store, we do laundry, and we greet the day with a cup of coffee, the morning paper, and a goooood stretch!

Jungle Recon Loves His Job More Than You Do!

2011-05-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

As children, we often fantasize about what we're going to be when we grow up: astronauts, firemen, teachers, doctors...nothing seems off-limits. Take for instance, this little girl:

She wanted to be a veterinarian. Did that happen? No. Instead, she explains to her parents once a year that even though they don't understand it, drink tickets ARE a form of payment!

So when someone is able not only to achieve their career goals, but loves and thrives in what they're doing, I think that deserves to be rewarded.

So, for the first time ever, I'd like to present the "Oh My Goshko! I'm Doing What I Love" Award to Mr. Jungle Recon. Congratulations, Mr. Recon, for not only achieving your dreams, but for being able to say, "You ever shot a machine gun on peyote?"

We should all be so lucky.

(NSFW...or at least wear headphones)

It's Coming...

2011-05-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Brad Lawrence (Two-time Moth GrandSlam Champion, Standard Issues)

Ed Gavagan (The Liar Show, Moth GrandSlam Champion)

Sharon Spell (Biography Channel, Shrink!, UCB)

Time Out NY “Critic’s Pick”

New York Daily News "Editor's Pick"

Sideshow Goshko

Thursday, May 26th, 7pm-9pm

KGB Bar (85 E. 4^th Street)

FREE

It's not a track suit!

2011-04-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

Track suits, hoodies, and tube socks...these are things I love. Most days I am wearing one if not all of these things. So, in a rare glimpse, I thought I would share some photographic evidence of me performing in something other than fleece.

Thanks to Anna Rubanova for the photos and to Margot Leitman and Giulia Rozzi for having me on their amazing show, Stripped Stories at UCB Theater. It was a great night all-around!

More photos after the cut...

You can listen to this story on the previously recorded
"Love" episode of Risk!

RECAP: April Sideshow Goshko

2011-04-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

A full house, a Gilda Radner action figure, and a lineup that made my heart swell with happiness = April's "Sideshow Goshko!" First off, thanks to our amazing audience for packing out the joint and to the wonderful talents of David Crabb, Tracy Rowland, & John Flynn. What transpired? Well, keep reading...

No show is complete without Sideshow Sauce

Our evening started out with the lovely David Crabb sharing about how his in-flight phobias combined with some bad omens might make him a less-than-ideal travel buddy...

David Crabb

Next was the Emmy Award-winning writer/producer, Tracy Rowland, who showed that cults are not always the most conducive for dating...

Tracy Rowland

John Flynn clearly illustrated that sometimes it's just time to leave Key West! Chicken coops and wig parties are just the tip of the iceberg...

John Flynn

And your host dispelled the belief that cute old men are just cute old men. Sometimes, they're pimps.

Leslie Goshko

And since my Sidekick Dr. Michelle was doing a performance at the Met (yes, THE Met!), Gilda Radner was kind enough to step in for her. She did a stellar job (at creeping everyone out).

Gilda's one badass bitch!

Overall, it was a terrific evening and we're very grateful for all the support. And thanks to the following for some great press! We're giving you huge cyber hugs:

Time Out New York!

Complex City-Guide!

The Skint!

Our next show is Thursday, May 26th, 7pm @ KGB Bar. Mark your calendars and we'll see you there!

And can I just say, we have some good-looking and talented audience members! Writer and poet, Kyle Erickson, stopped by for the night's festivities. Check him out at http://www.okieinthecity.com/

'Till next time! (We're one rough and tumble group. We might just go all
"West Side Story" on your ass. *finger snap*)

All photos are courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice. So, if you steal her sh*t, give her credit. She's awesome. Full Sideshow Gallery HERE!

Tax Day Just Got HILARIOUS!

2011-04-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

The IRS may not be funny, but the lineup we have for our April 15th "Sideshow Goshko" IS! Join us at the legendary KGB Bar (named "Best Literary Venue in NY" by NY Magazine) for a night of storytelling, trivia, and all-around good times.

John Flynn (ECNY Award nominee "Best Storyteller", UCB Theater)

Tracy Rowland (Emmy Award-winning writer/producer, The Moth)

David Crabb (Ask Me Stories, Risk!)

*Time Out New York "Critic's Pick"

*New York Daily News "Editor's Pick"

FREE!
Sideshow Goshko
Friday, April 15th, 7pm-9pm
KGB Bar (85 E. 4th Street)

"Where everybody knows your naaaaame..."

2011-04-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

Getting into elevator with man who lives in my building, I press his floor number for him.

Man: Ah, thanks. You just move in?

Me: No. We've lived here for about three years.

Man: Oh...really?

Me: Yes, you and I have actually had this conversation before.

Man: REALLY?

Me: Twice.

Man: ...Oh.

Aaaaaaaand Scene.

How to become a master storyteller

2011-04-06T08:25:00.001-07:00

Everything you ever needed to know about stories:

BBC, B*tches!

2011-04-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm very honored and thrilled to announce that SIDESHOW GOSHKO is one of the NY storytelling shows highlighted in this BBC article by Amy Klein. We've been having a great time over at KGB Bar (named "Best Literary Venue in New York" by New York Magazine) and are grateful to be named a Time Out New York "Critic's Pick", New York Daily News "Editor's Pick", and going.com "Editor's Pick." Come see what all the fuss is about at our next show on Friday, April 15th, 7pm. Tax day, bitches!

Read the BBC article featuring Sideshow Goshko (and yours truly) HERE!

(L to R: Leslie Goshko, Michelle-Leona Godin, photo courtesy Maryanne Ventrice)

If You Don't Love This, Your Soul Is Broken...

2011-03-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

The Ides of March Sideshow Goshko

2011-03-29T06:28:00.000-07:00

What can I say? I'm extremely lucky and grateful to be able to host and work with such great talent. We had another amazing Sideshow Goshko last week. So much so, that an audience member reviewed us on Yelp...and it's GOOD!

Yelp review HERE!

Our formidable cast included David Dickerson, with a tale of jelly fish and skinny dipping...

Giulia Rozzi, with what can only be called one of the best suicide (or almost suicide) stories ever...

Peter Aguero, regaling a tale of why you probably shouldn't hire him to be your high school teacher...

And yours truly, explaining that just because you work in a law firm doesn't mean they won't show you animal porn.

Thanks to everyone who came out to make it a wonderful evening and congrats to our trivia winner, Alison, who walked away with her very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce!

Join us next month on Friday, April 15th, 7pm @ KGB Bar for our next installment of Sideshow Goshko! It's gonna be a doozy. After all, it's tax day! What else would you expect?

*All photos courtesy of Maryanne Ventrice. Full gallery view HERE!

My Thoughts On Storytelling

2011-02-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

Glennis McMurray is a NY performer and producer who also happens to run a great site called GLOC (Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy). They recently asked me to share a little bit about my involvement with the New York storytelling scene. Below is what transpired. Hope you enjoy!

THE NEW YORK STORYTELLING SCENE WITH LESLIE GOSHKO

TONIGHT!

2011-02-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

We have the former host of "Blue's Clues" joining us tonight. Need I say more?

Time Out New York lists us under "Your Perfect Friday!"

Also, check out Sideshow Goshko and Steve Burns on the Apiary's "Honey Shot!"

Award-winning storyteller Leslie Goshko (Manhattan Monologue Slam Champion, NY Fringe Excellence Award, Sirius XM), invites some of NY’s top writers and storytellers to share true, bizarre tales about their lives. There’s live accordion music, a challenging trivia game, and a free wine giveaway where one lucky audience member will walk away with their very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce! Tonight’s stellar lineup includes stories from:

Steve Burns (Emmy-nominated host of "Blue's Clues")
Jim O’Grady (New York Times, Moth GrandSlam Champion)
Eugene Ashton-Gonzalez (NY Confidential, The Moth)
Leslie Goshko (Sirius XM, WNYC)

with live accordion music by Dr. Michelle Leona-Godin

SIDESHOW GOSHKO
Friday, February 18th, 7pm
KGB Bar (85 E. 4th St.)
FREE!!!

Oh My Effing G*d!

2011-02-09T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but ironically for being in comedy, there are few things that REALLY make me laugh. So when my friend Robin told me about a musical based on "Silence of the Lambs" and how "funny" it was, I was skeptical. Then I saw this video and busted up laughing by myself and watched it a dozen more times. To get to my favorite part, start at the 1:20 mark and prepare to laugh and possibly tinkle yourself a little.

Sideshow Goshko Turns 2 years Old!!!

2011-01-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

Oh me, oh my! Sideshow Goshko is turning 2 years old! And you, yes YOU, are invited to help us celebrate. We've had a great 2 years so far and have been honored to receive the following award titles:

Time Out New York "Critic's Pick"

New York Daily News "Editor's Pick"

Going.com "Editor's Pick"

And now, we're so happy to be at our new home, the legendary KGB Bar (named "Best Literary Venue in New York City" by New York Magazine).

Oh, and did I mention it's my birthday as well? Double Birthday Fun Times!

Award-winning storyteller Leslie Goshko (Manhattan Monologue Slam Champion, NY Fringe Excellence Award, Sirius XM), invites some of NY’s top writers and storytellers to share true, bizarre tales about their lives. There’s live accordion music, a challenging trivia game, and a free wine giveaway where one lucky audience member will walk away with their very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce! Tonight’s stellar lineup includes stories from:

Andy Christie (NY Times, The Liar Show)

Jeff Gordinier (author "X Saves the World," NY Times, Details)

Sara Benincasa (author "Agorafabulous," Comedy Central, MTV)

Colin Dempsey (ComedyLand)

hosted by Leslie Goshko
music by Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin

Sideshow Goshko

Friday, January 14th, 2011, 7pm

KGB Bar (85 E. 4th Street, NY, NY)

TOTALLY FREE!!!

A Holiday Video Card from Yours Truly!

2010-12-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

"Happy Holidays" to you and yours from me and mine!

It's That Time Again...

2010-11-30T07:23:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time of year again...ECNY Nomination Time! And what's that you say? You want to nominate one, Leslie Goshko, for something but don't quite know what? Well, you're in luck. Because here are some categories that would be perfect! (and much appreciated) :

Best One-Person Show (VODKA SHOES)

Best Storyteller

Best Poster Design (VODKA SHOES by Roger Haskins)

and this year, there's also a nominate your own category and nominee. I haven't quite figured out what I would want that to be, but hey! Let's get creative.

CLICK HERE TO NOMINATE!

I'd be so appreciative for any and all nominations. Thank you all so much for helping make this a great performance year for me. An end-of-the-year recap is sure to come.

Happy Holidays and much love!

:)Leslie

Guilty Pleasure Monday

2010-10-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

1. The Pizza Song!

So, even though facebook is slowly and systematically taking over the world and gutting our souls, I'm glad it exists because without it, I'm not sure I would have been exposed to this video. I rarely laugh out loud at videos, but within the first 30 seconds, I was gaffawing with delight over this one. Whoever was the genius to spend actual time out of their day to manipulate this, Thank You! You have given me a new guilty pleasure (oh, and the :42 sec mark is where it's at!):

2. Staying Alive (w/a special guest appearance by Showgirls!)

I have maintained for quite a while, and with all sincerity, that Staying Alive with John Travolta has got to be one of the best movies of all time. And I don't mean that in an Alanis Morissette "Ironic" kind of way, I mean it in a "I can watch this every night of the week without blowing my brains out" way. So when I finally got to witness the uber guilty pleasure, Showgirls, I of course squealed with delight that another dance guilty pleasure existed (but with more nudity and homoerotic activities). I even ended up writing a little movie review of said guilty pleasures which got featured on funnynotslutty.com which was listed as a featured blog today on TMZ! And that, my friends, is the power of Staying Alive and Showgirls!

LINK TO MY GUILTY PLEASURE MOVIE REVIEW!

3. Not really a guilty pleasure, but I didn't want to write a whole separate blog post about it...

I was notified last week that I will be competing as a semi-finalist for the Andy Kaufman Award! I am very thrilled and honored. Details to come.

In Summation:

Pizza is delightful as a food or song (especially when it's sung by audio-manipulated children).

Staying Alive (and Showgirls, although it will always come in second) will be the only things to survive the Apocalypse.

I'm geeking out.

The Toxic Spuds!

2010-10-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

What's better than super group of the 90's, The Cranberries? How about the world's foremost Cranberries cover band, The Toxic Spuds?! Here are The Toxic Spuds as they serenade legendary "Shrink" host, Mama Spell, at her birthday show.

I Heart Air Guitar Nation!

2010-10-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm so in love with this video I can't stop! It's bordering on an unhealthy obsession. I've even watched it enough to know that my favorite part is at the :30 sec mark where C-Diddy front humps the air. So now, it is with great pleasure that I share with you, this little slice of pure joy!

(For a whole "joy pie" check out the documentary in its entirety: "Air Guitar Nation".)

KGB Bar presents SIDESHOW GOSHKO (Sept. Edition)

2010-09-22T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well, after a standing-room-only debut, being named a Time Out NY "Critic's Pick" & NY Daily News "Editor's Pick"...we're back! Join us for an evening of superb storytelling at the legendary KGB Bar (named "best literary venue in NY" by NY Magazine). There’s live accordion music, a challenging trivia game, and a free wine giveaway where one lucky audience member will walk away with their very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce!

With Tales From:

Adam Wade (16-time Moth StorySlam Champion)
Ryan Paulson (UCB, "I'm Uncomfortable")
Michele Carlo (author "Fish Out of Agua")
Margot Leitman (MTV, VH1, "Stripped Stories")

Hosted by Leslie Goshko
music by Dr. Michelle-Leona Godin

Sideshow Goshko
Thursday, September 23rd, 7pm
KGB Bar
FREE!!!

Oh, What a Night!

2010-09-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

Last week, the legendary KGB Bar (voted "best literary venue in NYC") hosted our very own Sideshow Goshko! And what a great night it was. We were named a Time Out NY "Critics Pick" and packed the place out. There were so many people, it was standing room only with people spilling out into the hallway and the bar running out of glasses. Thanks so much to everyone who came out and made our evening absolutely magical! Myself and all the performers (many thanks to Andy Christie, Carter Edwards, Kambri Crews, and Dan Allen) are eternally grateful.

For a review of the evening, CLICK HERE! Thanks to "A Stymied Vowel" for the review and for attending.

Stay tuned for info on the next Sideshow Goshko. It's gonna be a doozy!

Cruel to be Kind

2010-07-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

*Blogger is stupid and deleted my original post, so this is going to be a lamer, shorter version.

I don't understand intentionally cruel people, I never have. That might sound odd coming from a comedian where there are so few topics off-limits, but it's true.

The other night while performing with the BTK Band, some guy went backstage, ransacked everyone's personal items, and made off with a bunch of cash and several cell phones. Once I got back there, I saw that my purse was open and my wallet was gone. Great! I immediately went into crisis mode thinking of all the things I had to do (and thank goodness my husband was there). "Okay, need to cancel my card, make a trip to the DMV for a new I.D. (blech), call my bank, what else am I forgetting..." A girl then came up to me and said that someone found some of their things strewn about the back hallway. I ran back to the greenroom, looked around, and luckily found my wallet with all its innards intact (apparently, the thief only wanted cash, and since I'm a comedian, I'm perpetually broke). I was so grateful! Especially since I despise the DMV!

I was very fortunate in this situation. Things could have been much worse. But since I've been in NY (although this stuff can happen anywhere), I've definitely had my share of running into crappy situations with people breaking the law. One in which I ended up standing behind mirrored glass and looking at a lineup.

All that to say, this kind of stuff sucks! People who do this stuff suck! I guess I just don't understand what kind of temporary high could be so great where it's worth f*cking with other people's lives. Especially people who are there giving their time and energy for free so they can perform a show and entertain some people for a while. What kind of dick does that?

I'm constantly amazed that I live in a world that can all at once produce some of the most wonderful, beautiful things (art, people, sunsets, music) and at the same time deliver some of the biggest douchebags conceivable. Astounding.

So, Mister Douchebag who steals from poor artists on a Monday, I hope you get some serious Karmic retribution coming your way to kick you in the ass!

If you have a facebook account, log in to see a quick glimpse of him in our video HERE!

SIDESHOW GOSHKO: June Storytelling Edition

2010-06-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

This edition of Sideshow Goshko marks a historic event...OUR VERY FIRST THURSDAY SHOW! That's right! And we're very excited about it. So, come on down and hear NY's top storytellers reveal the odd and bizarre tales of their lives.

Stories from:

H. ALAN SCOTT! (Sirius Radio, hereTV)

GREG LEITMAN! (um, he's basically everywhere)

DR. MICHELLE-LEONA GODIN! (That's right! She'll be playing accordion AND telling a story)

and more!

So, help us celebrate our first Thursday evening in style. And now, introducing Ochi's NEW DRINK SPECIALS!!!

$3 beer special and $5 well drinks all night long in Ochi’s. YAY

Thursday, June 17th
7:30pm
Ochi's Lounge (basement of Comix)
No Cover!!! just buy a soda or something

SIDESHOW GOSHKO: May Storytelling Edition

2010-05-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well, we've had the April showers, so now it's time for May flowers. And this month's Sideshow Goshko has a bouquet of new stories and storytellers. And trust me, it's gonna be a doozy!

with stories from

KEVIN ALLISON (MTV's "The State", RISK!)

JOHN FLYNN (Nights of Our Lives)

CARTER EDWARDS (UCB, The Liar Show)

and more!

And as always, the indelible DR. MICHELLE-LEONA GODIN will be there to serenade us with live accordion music throughout the evening. And don't forget our signature trivia game where one lucky audience member will walk away with their very own bottle of SIDESHOW SAUCE! That's FREE wine, people!

hosted by LESLIE GOSHKO

SEE YOU THERE!

SIDESHOW GOSHKO: April Showers Edition

2010-04-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

April showers bring May flowers, but they also bring out the crazy stories from some of NY's top storytellers. This month, hear sideshow tales from:

MARGOT LEITMAN (VH1, Comedy Central, Stripped Stories)

ROBERT HURST (Liar Show, BTK Band, and a sh*t-load of other shows)

BRAD LAWRENCE (Stories at the Creek, Monsters in the Wood)

MYKA FOX (Comical Radio, Keith and the Girl)

with live accordion music by DR. MICHELLE LEONA and hosted by LESLIE GOSHKO (Risk! Liar Show, Vodka Shoes). And don't forget our challenging trivia game where one lucky audience member will win and walk away with their very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce (that's FREE WINE, people!).

So, strap on those galoshes and we'll see you there!

SIDESHOW GOSHKO: Drinkity Drink Drink Edition

2010-03-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, you know you're going to be out drinking anyway, so why not come drink and laugh with us? Oh, and if that isn't enough incentive...

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS FLYING IN FROM OKLAHOMA AND WILL BE THERE!

So, if you ever wanted to make things uncomfortable for, or just embarrass, me, then come on out to Ochi's Lounge on St. Patty's Day and hear great tales from:

*SHARON MAMA SPELL (Shrink!)

*MIKE DRUCKER (SNL)

*ROBIN GELFENBIEN (NY Fringe)

*KATRIN HIER (Sister Katrin's Confessional)

and as always, DR. MICHELLE LEONA will be there to serenade us with live accordion music. Plus there's trivia and one lucky audience member will walk away with their very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce.

Storytelling. Drinks. SEE YOU THERE!

Wednesday, March 17th, 7:30pm
Ochi's Lounge (353 W. 14th St.--basement of Comix)
FREE! Just buy a soda or something

Meet the Goshkos PART II

2010-02-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

VODKA SHOES PROMO II from Lgosh on Vimeo.

BUY VODKA SHOES TICKETS!

February Sideshow Goshko

2010-02-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

Ah, February...the month of love. Whether you're fabulously single, "living in sin," or matrimonially hitched, we would LOVE to see your gorgeous face at the Sideshow.

With stories from:

*DAN ALLEN! (Sacapuntas)

*ILANA GLAZER! (High School Talent Show)

*GARRY HANNON! (Seriously LOL)

*ROSS HYZER! (County Fair)

and of course, live accordion music by our lovely DR. MICHELLE LEONA along with our signature trivia game and free wine giveaway!

Hosted by LESLIE GOSHKO

NO COVER! just buy a soda or something:)

Goshko and Killer Killy Do The Frigid!

2010-02-09T15:09:00.000-08:00

My friend Killy Dwyer and I are both participants in this year's NY Frigid Festival. She's super funny and sexy and makes a good cup of tea. We hung out one afternoon to discuss our shows. Here's what happened:

Thanks to Jacki Schklar, creator of funnynotslutty.com, for editing!

Tickets for Vodka Shoes HERE
Tickets for Kill The Band HERE

See you at the show!!!!

Meet The Family

2010-02-08T08:27:00.001-08:00

Vodka Shoes Promo from Lgosh on Vimeo.

And don't forget to BUY YOUR TICKETS!!!

On the homepage of Funny Or Die!

2010-02-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

While filming footage for our upcoming Frigid promos, a small section gets saved from the cutting room floor and finds its way to the homepage of Funny Or Die. Thanks funnynotslutty.com!

OK Maybe We're Funny AND Slutty - watch more funny videos

VODKA SHOES!

2010-02-02T08:41:00.000-08:00

Saturday Afternoon + Boredom + Video Camera = "MIGHTY KITE!"

2010-01-18T08:41:00.000-08:00

Mighty Kite from Lgosh on Vimeo.

Mighty Kite: Blooper Reel from Lgosh on Vimeo.

SIDESHOW GOSHKO 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! (and my birthday:)

2010-01-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

Well, our Sideshow Goshko baby turns 1 yr. old this month, and we're gonna celebrate! And boy do we have a great lineup to get the party going:

Tom Shillue (Comedy Central)
Adam Wade (Moth Grandslam Champion)
Ophira Eisenberg (VH1)
Andy Christie (The Liar Show)

and accordionist extraordinaire, Dr. Michelle Leona, will serenade us throughout the evening while we play trivia and give away a free bottle of Sideshow Sauce to one lucky audience member. So put your party hats on and come help us celebrate two birthdays in one!

Wednesday January 20th, 7:30pm
Ochi's Lounge (basement of Comix)
FREE! Just buy a soda or something :)

A Trip Down the Ol' Charismatic Christian Memory Lane

2009-12-15T13:20:00.000-08:00

Evangelist and ORU Chancellor, Oral Roberts

Me sporting a bad hairdo and my Oral Roberts T-Shirt

Today it was announced that Oral Roberts, founder and chancellor of Oral Roberts University, died at the age of 91. Having not only attended, but graduated from ORU, I know first hand about the school, the policies, the beliefs, and Oral Roberts himself. I also know that many people who attended/graduated from ORU are extremely cynical, bitter, angry, or ashamed over said school. I, myself, am not one of those people. I'm neither a proponent for, or against, ORU. I do not gush about what's good about it, and I don't attend alumni reunions. My time there was what it was. Sure, I have my own personal list of things over which the university and I greatly disagree. And if you asked me what those were, I would tell you. But, unlike some, I don't take pleasure in "talking shit" about the school just for the sake of "talking shit."

I chose to go there (well, there were extenuating circumstances, but that's for another time), I received an education, I met my husband of now 5 1/2 years, and I met some of the best friends I've ever had (and still keep in touch with). So, at the news of Oral Roberts death, I do not find myself extremely sad, or happy, just...present. But it did get me taking a little trip down memory lane. So now, in no particular order:

Goshko's Top 10 ORU Memories:

10. Got reprimanded by the women's dorm director for saying "bullshit" in Timko Barton Music Hall.

9. Out of boredom, shaved my head and got a summer job as a prayer partner. Also discovered that Kahlua is tasty.

8. Mailed a dead bird through the campus post office to my first, big crush.

7. Routinely distributed large quantities of caffeine pills to the girls on my floor, should they ask.

6. Broke nightly curfew by using my RA key to sneak out of the dorm and get Taco Bell.

5. Set our table on fire during APO banquet. My friends and I cannot be trusted with candles and napkins.

The culprits of the APO table fire.

4. Ate a box of chocolate laxatives with my roommate to see if they would work and how much use our private toilet could handle.

3. Picked up the bassoon to try and get scholarship money, only to have it revoked on the first day of orchestra practice when I admitted, "I don't learn how to play an 'A' until next week."

2. Stole two cafeteria trays and the "Choose L.I.F.E." banner.

Please note my hot roommate and the stolen tray behind the sink.

We chose LIFE!

and number one on the Goshko Top 10 List...

1. Officially dedicated my senior project to Gilda Radner and held a John Belushi action figure in my school, graduation photo.

Yes, I traveled to her grave after graduation. What?

Not actual graduation photo, but actual John Belushi action figure.

Graduation photo with my very good friend, Heather, also known as my "second banana."

And, of course, the infamous prayer tower. I also used to give campus tours. Booya!

So there you have it! A little glimpse into what the Goshko/ORU days looked like. And yes, I'm still paying off school loans. Bastards!

LAST SHOW OF THE YEAR!

2009-12-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

Well, there's parties for hosting and marshmallows for toasting and more importantly, stories that need to be told! Come join us for our final show of '09! Ack! Another year bites the dust. But don't worry, we have just what you need:

Hear stories from:

*Brad Lawrence (Moth Slam Champ, Stories at the Creek)
*DJ Hazard (West Side Stories, Liar Show, Speakeasy)
*Dan St. Germain (Gotham and everywhere else!)
*Tracy Rowland (Moth Slam Champ, Liar Show, Speakeasy)
*Evan Morgenstern (SNC, Comix)

and of course, Dr. Michelle Leona will provide us with LIVE accordion music. We'll also have our staple trivia game and FREE wine giveaway.

Alright, you holiday babies. SEE YOU THERE!

Japanese TV and Turkey!

2009-11-14T13:47:00.001-08:00

'Tis the season of turkeys, falling leaves, Pilgrims, cranberry sauce, and NY's top storytellers bringing you their favorite, bizarre tales. Yes, it's time for another edition of Sideshow Goshko! And to make it extra special this month, it will be filmed as part of a documentary on storytelling to be shown on, wait for it...Japanese TV! That's right! So, if you've ever wanted the people of Japan to see your mug, or well...the back of your head, come join us on Wed, November 18th, 7:30pm at Ochi's Lounge and hear:

MARTIN DOCKERY (Fringe Festival awesomeness EVERYWHERE! Oh, and a Moth Slam Champ!)

JENNA BRISTER (Moth Slam Champion)

EUGENE ASHTON-GONZALEZ (1001 Nights)

SELENA COPPOCK (Boston Comedy Festival and stand-up Everywhere!)

and no show would be complete without trvia, our free wine giveaway, and the lovely Dr. MICHELLE LEONA serenading us with live accordion music!

So, see you there for a great evening of storytelling. We're all gonna be Japanese TV stars!

This Month Was MADE for Us Freaks!

2009-10-15T08:58:00.001-07:00

Hot Dog! It's October! What better month to highlight the odd, bizarre, freakish tales of New York's top storytellers? And boy, do we have a great lineup to bring "the crazy":

PETER AGUERO (Moth GrandSlam, BTK Band, Risk!, Liar Show)

BRUCE CHERRY (Tough Crowd w/Colin Quinn)

AMY DIXON (UCB)

BECKY FLAUM (UCB)

And as always, you'll be serenaded with live accordion music by the beautiful MICHELLE LEONA. Not to mention you get to play trivia and win the chance to walk away with your very own FREE bottle of Sideshow Sauce.

So, grab those vampire fangs and witches hats and head over to Ochi's Lounge where you'll be thrilled to the bone by New York's top storytellers. See you there!

WHEN: Wednesday, October 21st, 7:30pm
WHERE: Ochi's Lounge (Comix) 353 W. 14th St
HOW MUCH: FREE!!! Just buy a soda or something:)

Aaaaand We're Back! September Sideshow Goshko!

2009-09-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

Well, after a nice little hiatus for the month of August, Sideshow Goshko is back in full swing for September. And boy, do we have a great lineup to kick things off!

Photo courtesy of Craig Ruttle

This month, hilarious and bizarre tales from:

Katie Northlich (2 Time National Manhattan Monologue Slam Champion)

Greg Barris (Heart of Darkness)

Scott Yacyshyn (UCB, The Onion, host of Night of No BS)

and more!

And of course, what would a Sideshow be without the lovely Dr. Michelle to serenade us with live accordion music! So, come enjoy a night of storytelling, trivia playing, and the chance to walk away with your very own FREE BOTTLE OF SIDESHOW SAUCE!

When: Wednesday, September 16th, 7:30pm
Where: Ochi's Lounge (basement of Comix) 14th St. just East of 9th Ave
How Much: FREE! plus a measly one item min

SO, SEE YOU THERE!!!

NY International Fringe Excellence Award

2009-09-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

This summer, I was very honored to find myself working with some amazingly talented people in the NY Fringe Festival play, "Bargains and Blood (How to Succeed in Home Shopping). In fact, we had so much fun together, that we found ourselves the recipients of the Fringe Overall Excellence Award for Outstanding Ensemble! AND we were named one of the top 6 shows to see (out of 201!) and given FOUR STARS by Time Out NY Magazine. Thanks to everyone who came out and helped make the show a huge success. Woot Woot!!!

Photos by Ethan David Kent

Also, be sure to check out funnynotslutty.com this month! They have a blurb about our Fringe win AND another special award I won this month. Thanks, FNS!!!

Final Sideshow Goshko for the Summer!

2009-07-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hey All!

Sideshow Goshko is taking a hiatus for the month of August. But before we do, we're gonna have a blow out night of amazing storytelling, trivia, live accordion music, and booze! Not to mention someone is going to walk away with their very own FREE bottle of Sideshow Sauce.

So, help us go out in style for the summer by hearing great, bizarre tales by:

Myka Fox (Comical Radio)

Sean Donnelly (Host of The Little Seany Boy Show, Don't Touch Me There)

Rob Gorden (Spike TV, Onion News Network, Food Network)

Michelle Leona (Host of The Dr. Michelle Party Show, The Liar Show)

So, come stop by, have a drink, and help us celebrate our last show of the summer!!!!

When: Wed, July 15th, 7:30pm
Where: Ochi's Lounge (Comix) 353 W. 14th just east of 9th Ave

*only 1 item min. That's cheap!!!

I'm either becoming a 13 yr old boy or a lesbian in her 20's!

2009-06-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

To say that my heart is exploding with happiness over what I'm about to share with you is an understatement. Although not something I usually do, I have been frequenting a comic book store in my neighborhood and getting turned on to such great graphic novels as Fun Home and Shortcomings. While paying for my new fixes, I noticed the most amazing thing on the shelf behind the cash register:

BIG LEBOWSKI ACTION FIGURES!!!! I knew then and there that I must have them. I need The Dude and Walter sitting on my computer desk, looking at me while I update my facebook status. But along with the good comes the bad...they're sold out! Series 1 has been discontinued and not even the ebay sharks are throwing me a bone! WHAT TO DO?!?!? Series 2 & 3 will soon be available and I will definitely look into adopting the rest of the clan. But what about my series 1 babies? I feel like Angelina Jolie in the Changeling!*

So, that being said. I will not give up hope. I will continue the search for my white Russian chugging baby and his anger management challenged brother. But I do find solace in this one fact. The fact that THIS exists:

AWESOMENESS INCARNATE!!!

* I've actually never seen The Changeling, but I've gotta imagine that it goes something like this: "I'm Angelina Jolie! I'm beautiful! My child is missing! I'll do something daring to find him and look hot while doing it! Child found! I'm still hot! Oscar nomination?"

Recently Interviewed by Author Gwendolyn Glover!

2009-06-16T11:22:00.001-07:00

I'm very lucky to know some pretty kick a** people. One of them is author Gwendolyn Glover (check her out HERE). Recently, she took time out of her busy schedule to send some questions my way and pick my brain. I happily obliged. Check out the interview where I divulge information about Canadians, roaches, and my onstage nakedness:

Interview By Gwendolyn Glover

June 17th Sideshow Goshko is gonna be off the hizzie!

2009-06-14T07:20:00.001-07:00

That's right! We just keep truckin' right along through these summer months. And June's lineup is bringing the freaky funny to you.

Hilarious storytelling by:

*H. Alan Scott (Sirius/XM Radio, here!TV, Hollywood Improv)
*Margot Leitman (Comedy Central, MTV, VH1)
*Mark Normand (We're All Friends Here)
*Robin Gelfenbien (Sirius/XM Radio, VH1)

and as always, the fabulous Michelle Leona will be there to serenade us with LIVE accordion music. Don't forget about our trivia game and wine giveaway!!!

So see you there! Wednesday June 17th, 7:30pm, Ochi's Lounge (353 W. 14th, E. of 9th Ave)

Sideshow Goshko Gets Outstanding Review!

2009-04-23T11:09:00.001-07:00

Writer, performer, and storyteller Brad Lawrence stopped by the most recent edition of Sideshow Goshko and wants to let you know what he thought about it:

SIDESHOW GOSHKO REVIEW!

Enjoy!

Forget Taxes and Come Laugh!

2009-04-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

The next "Sideshow Goshko" is on Wednesday, April 15th...aka Tax Day! So, if you're fed up with W2's, write-off's, and social security numbers, come relax with us in a rather stylish comedy basement, grab a drink, and hear hilarious stories from:

Jim O'Grady (Moth GrandSlam Champion, NY Times)

John Knefel (Huffington Post)

Kambri Crews (lovedaddy.org, The Moth, Speakeasy)

Juliet Jeske (CNN, Joe's Pub, Fringe Festival)

Jeff Simmermon (Moth StorySlam Champion)

and of course, live accordion music by the fabulous Dr. Michelle! Not to mention our challenging trivia game (which someone has yet to answer all 4 questions correctly) and our FREE wine giveaway (you could end up leaving with your very own bottle of Sideshow Sauce)!

So, get your mind off those refunds (or lack there of) and come enjoy some hilariously, bizarre stories from some of New York's BEST storytellers.

Wednesday, April 15th, 7:30pm
Ochi's Lounge (Comix) 353 W. 14th St. (just E. of 9th Ave.)
No cover *one item minimum ($4 and $5 draughts available)

SIDESHOW GOSHKO THIS FRIDAY!

2009-01-27T06:59:00.000-08:00

That’s right folks, come one come all! There’s a new sideshow in town, “Sideshow Goshko.”

These comedians are FREAKS! Come on down to Ochi's Lounge and watch your favorite comedians perform and tell stories about their crazy selves. You'll learn all about their bizarre quirks, hidden talents, OCD complexes, social interactions gone awry, and MORE! It's a sideshow, so you never know WHAT you're gonna get! And just like seeing a two-headed baby for the first time, you won't be able to look away!

January 30th Freaks:

Sara Benincasa (CNN, Sirius Radio, 236.com, MTV)

David Cope (Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Comedy Fest NW, Bumbershoot)

Jessica Delfino (Good Morning America, Fox News Red Eye, Montreal Comedy Festival, Edinburgh Fringe Festival)

Ophira Eisenberg (Comedy Central, US Weekly, The Moth)

Dan Allen (Comedy Central)

Adam Wade (10 Time Moth StorySlam Champion, ESPN, Comedy Central, Conan)

with AWESOME accordion sideshow music by Michelle Leona!!!

Here’s the deets:

WHAT: Sideshow Goshko—OUR VERY FIRST SHOW!

WHEN: Friday, January 30th, 11pm (after this, the third Wed. of every month, 7:30pm)

WHERE: Ochi’s Lounge (basement of Comix--353 W. 14th, E. of 9th Ave.)

WHO: Your favorite freakish comedians! (and if you didn’t know they were freaks before, you do now!)

So come on down to the "Ochi’s Big Top" and help make our first Sideshow a freakishly AWESOME one! It will be laden with craziness, prizes, and surprises!

*(no cover, one item minimum)

NY METRO PIECE FEATURED ON FUNNY NOT SLUTTY!

2008-12-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

Check out the holiday letter that every one wants to write, but can't. Well, Judith can...almost.

HOLIDAY LETTER

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE A.K.A. HOW TO WEIRD OUT A "GOSSIP GIRL" CAST MEMBER: A STEP BY STEP GUIDE

2008-11-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

Step 1: Introduce yourself to "Gossip Girl" cast member.

Step 2: Immediately take photo while you're still considered sane.

Step 3: Find common ground to ignite conversation. Oh! You're Polish? I know a couple phrases...

Step 4: Rattle off your three known phrases (all very "a**" heavy):

A** hole!
Four legs in the bed, a sausage in the a**!
May a duck kick you in the a**!

Step 5: Wait for cast member's response:

Wow! Those aren't even normal phrases.

(You take this as a compliment, but are later informed that you kind of "creeped her out.")

Step 6: Go to after party and consume drinks on expense accounts.

Step 7: Chat online with father next day and mention the following:

I got into a little hot water yesterday.

Step 8: Realize you might have a slight problem when he quickly responds:

Oh no! Not the "four legs in the bed..."

Me and "Dorota" from "Gossip Girl"

The Gym: Part Two

2008-11-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

Seeing as I hate working out, I try to find fitness formats that don't necessarily resemble exercise. The result: I take every dance class they offer at the gym. Unfortunately, the past couple of days these classes have been at night when I already have shows or rehearsals to go to. The solution: the treadmill. Mind you, I don't run on the treadmill--that would be "working out." I simply walk. Now, that may not sound exciting, and it's not. The exciting part is that every single treadmill has it's own flat screen, cable television attached to it. YES! TV! And coming from someone who doesn't own a TV, this is a big deal. On the treadmill I can get Comedy Central, bad Lifetime movies, Oprah--everything! I even extended my 40 minute walk another 30 minutes because I had to watch the end of Center Stage where young Jody tells the dance world to "shove it" because she's going to star in Cooper Nielson's new dance company. Take that, Peter Gallagher!

This concept really is genius! What better way to motivate couch potatoes than to put their fix right in front of their eyes and make them walk toward it. It's the proverbial carrot in front of the horse. Or a doughnut for a fat kid. Or a meth lab for an addict.

Maybe joining the gym is a good idea. I can get all the TV I want from 6am-11pm daily!

... Or maybe I should just walk more and save $200/month by getting cable in my apartment. Eh. It's a toss up.

TV's on the treadmill...BRILLIANT!

The Gym: Part One

2008-11-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

Leslie has been given a free week-long guest pass to one of Manhattan's swankiest gyms. She has never been a member of any fitness establisment nor does she usually work out. Let's see what happens...

I am amazed at the education I am receiving in the women's locker room. Apparently, there are alot of unspoken rules: asking for someone else's preferred locker number--not okay. Standing in front of the wall mirror with one leg perched on the counter while you apply baby oil and give everyone a free vagina show--totally okay! In fact, I've learned alot about vaginas* this week.

As I only have my own potato to deal with, I didn't realize how many varieties of potatoes there really are: mashed, fried, boiled, groomed, ungroomed...it's amazing! And while it seems that another unspoken rule is to not look at other's potatoes, I choose to ignore this and blatantly stare. But seeing a potato in the locker room is one thing, seeing that same person outside the locker room after staring at their potato is quite another.

After putting my things in a locker that I was sure no one would want, I happened to see (this time not intentionally) a 60-something yr. old woman's potato. I quickly looked the other way and exited the locker room. Upon my arrival to the fourth floor (there are freakin' 6 floors of fitness fun here) I see 60 yr. old potato woman has beat me there by taking the elavator. I felt dirty. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. Here is this sweet old woman getting ready to slowly pedal away on the stationary bike and all I can think is, "I know what your potato looks like." I equate the feeling to someone who runs into an ex-lover on the street and while they are exchanging pleasantries all they can think about is, "I remember that time you farted during sex. And I know about that ugly mole on your back."

So for the rest of the week I'm trying to keep my head down (or up?) and see as few potatoes as possible. Mainly for the selfish fact that I don't want to have awkard, post-sex feelings about elderly women.

*"Vaginas" will be referred to as "potatoes" for the rest of this blog just so I don't have to keep writing "vagina" a million times. Plus I like potatoes quite a bit more than vaginas so it makes perfect sense to me.

New Funny Not Slutty Post!

2008-11-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

Head on over to http://funnynotslutty.com/ to read the latest "Chick Chat," a transcribed conversation between two comedians. This month it's between myself and the lovely Ann Carr. We made sure to touch on the important things of life like Tori Amos, funerals, and brides who see weddings as performance opportunities. You don't want to miss it!

CHICK CHAT WITH LESLIE & ANN!

ME, DAVE ATTELL, AND RICHARD BELZER!

2008-10-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone!

Take a minute out of your busy day to enjoy a little humor by reading the Funny Page of the NY Metro. There's a piece by me entitled "President Talk Made Easy," a joke by Dave Attell, and news on Richard Belzer and other comedy happenings. Don't be left out of the comedy loop! Grab your NY Metro (or follow the link) and enjoy a couple minutes of good, funny reading!

NY METRO FUNNY PAGE

Cheers!

Holy Sh*t! Germans made me into a cartoon!

2008-10-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

So, a friend of mine who runs the New York Reality TV School hired me quite a while ago to work with them at one of their workshops. It just so happened that there was a picture of me performing there that ran on msnbc.com. WELL...that picture has now, somehow, found it's way to Germany and been "cartoon-ized!" I'm a cartoon!

ORIGINAL:

CARTOON:

Woo Hoo!

Here's the actual link in case you're interested:

Leslie as a German cartoon!

For all I know, they could be saying we're all pieces of sh*t. But what do I care?...I'm a freakin' cartoon!

Be Your Own President!

2008-10-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

Being a president has never been easier! Show off your presidential speech chops with Goshko's easy, do-it-yourself, fill-in-the-blank speech form—"President Talk Made Easy!" Impress your friends! Influence people! Kill 5 minutes at the office! It's all just a click away!

President Talk Made Easy!

(as seen on www.funnynotslutty.com)

Attack of the Killer Sunflower Seeds!

2008-08-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

Husband grabs book off bookshelf and quickly tosses it to the floor.

Me: Ew! Was there a bug on that?

Husband stares at the floor without answering.

Me: Hey! Was there a bug on that book?!?!

Him: Yes! But I can't find it.

Wife gets up and joins the search.

Me: Is this it? This sunflower seed?

Husband looks at sunflower seed lying on the floor.

Him: Well, that's what the body looked like. But it had antennae and long legs.

Me: Are you suuuuure?

Him: No. It's probably that sunflower seed.

Latest Tulsa Press!

2008-07-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Here's the latest press from the Tulsa World on my one year anniversary of living in New York. Hope you enjoy!

Leslie Audio Slideshow

Leslie Tulsa World Article

Cheers!

If you're in the neighborhood, come on out!

2008-05-13T11:48:00.001-07:00

"Works well with children"

2008-03-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

After purchasing my metro card, I turn to my husband and say,

"Who puts their stroller right in front of the metro machine?!?"

He replies,

"Who kicks a baby stroller?"

*guilty as charged*

Healthy Living

2008-01-31T08:04:00.001-08:00

I finally figured out how to make my reduced-sugar oatmeal taste good--I add two heaping spoonfuls of brown sugar to it.

Problem solved!

How 'bout "please" and "thank you?"

2008-01-16T22:52:00.001-08:00

I decided that I deserved Chinese food today. And to justify this "frivolity," I decided that I would walk the two blocks to pick it up rather than order in. Plus, I would save a couple bucks in tip money. So, I set out on my quest, all the while contemplating if I would spring for the egg roll or not. I concluded I would.

I entered Wangs and saw a group of women already placing their orders. I patiently awaited my turn at the counter.

Woman #1: "And I want that chicken lightly fried, not hard fried like you usually do it. (turning to friends) I don't even think she understands me."

Woman #2: "Damn it's cold in here! Don't you have any heat? I bet in the summer you can spring for air conditioning...how bout some damn heat!"

Woman #3: "Hey! Lady! Make sure you only put onions in my fried rice. You hear me? Only onions!"

Woman #1: "She don't even understand you."

After this little repartee, I placed my order for chicken and broccoli, one eggroll.

Woman #2: "DAMN it's cold in here!!! I'm gonna be eatin' in here and I need some heat. I KNOW you got some heat in here cause I see the vents. Shit..."

Five more minutes pass as they bitch to one another, repeating all of the various statements in random order.

Woman #2: "Alright, lady. You gonna wipe this table off? I'm not eatin' on that!"

Sweet Chinese woman wipes off table.

"You got some napkins for me? That tables all wet!"

Sweet Chinese woman hands her napkins.

"You know what? Forget it! I don't wanna eat of your table anyway. Gimme a tray!"

Sweet Chinese woman goes to back of kitchen to find a tray.

"Hey! Pops! What happen? All your relatives quit? This is taking long as hell."

It was at this precise moment that an elaborate fight sequence took place in my head: After calling her a b*tch, I wind up a hard right hook and connect with her jaw knocking her on the dirty restaurant floor. Why don't you give em a break, huh? Her friends look at me in disbelief, then anger. You guys want some too? The big one steps forward and I grab her squarely on the shoulders and cold cock her with a head butt. You next, honey? She takes a step back, looks at her friends, looks at the Chinese woman, and pulls a small knife out of her inside coat pocket. I allow my head to rock back as I burst out in laughter. I step over my two other victims, grab the out-dated rotary phone off of the counter, slam it into the side of her face, and watch two teeth spill to the floor after she knocks herself unconscious on a nearby table.

"They won't be giving you anymore trouble," I say dusting off my jacket lapels.

"Oh thank you!" the Chinese woman exclaims. "Thank you! Thank you! Eggroll on the house!"

"Ho ho! You're too kind."

The women slowly come to their senses and shrink at the sight of me.

"And I believe you ladies owe these fine people an apology."

A chorus of "I'm sorry's" and "it'll never happen again's" rise up from the tiled floor.

"All in a day's work," I think as I step out the door.

....In reality, I avoided eye contact, paid for my food, and called them bitches under my breath once safely outside. After all, I didn't want to get jumped.

Happy Blue Slacks Day

2007-12-13T05:36:00.000-08:00

"I hate blue slacks day," says my husband as he zips up his pants.

"What?" I ask.

"Blue slacks day. One day a week I have to wear these slacks and I hate them. They're too tight."

I laugh.

"And my khaki's are in the laundry so I might have to have two blue slacks days."

He buckles his belt to the second notch instead of the regular third.

"Why don't you wear those black pants of yours?"

"Those are tighter than the blue ones!"

I explode into laughter.

"Glad you're getting a kick out of this," he says and puts on his coat to leave.

I do not laugh at my husband because I think he is fat. I do not laugh because I find the situation particularly funny. I do laugh because this is my life everyday. Every pair of pants I own is blue slacks day. None of my clothes fit. Progressively over the years, I have gained weight; it's just a fact. Clothes that I used to wear in college while looking at myself in the mirror and saying, "God, I look huge," now seem the stuff of dreams. I laugh because it is sad that, at twenty six, I have let myself go.

"I wish I was home from work already so that blue slacks day was over."

I laugh harder. I wish my husband "Happy Blue Slacks Day," roll out of bed, and immediately put on a pair of elastic waist pajama pants. And to avoid diving into a deep depression, I sigh and say to myself, "Happy Blue Slacks Day, Les."

Kindred Spirits

2007-11-29T15:24:00.000-08:00

I just received a Christmas card (a little early, I think, but...) from an old college friend. On the front is a child's drawing of an angel playing a harp. Inside is written the following message:

I know the card is ugly, but a little cancer girl drew it and she could be dead by now!

These are the holiday wishes that warm my heart.

Apparently I'm A Bryant Park Hooker--Dedicated to Sharona not because she's a hooker, but because she too understands the irritation of holiday crowds

2007-11-28T06:32:00.000-08:00

(The following story is based on true, factual events. The names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent, but it has been abridged to conveniently be read in the span of a coffee break.)

Last night, I went to the tree lighting in Manhattan's Bryant Park. Which, oddly enough, the tree was donated by the Canadian Tourist Association. Hmmm...anyway. For the public's pleasure, the city of NY has installed a full size skating rink, free of charge to patrons, in the middle of Bryant Park. The night's festivities were to include:

1. The lighting of the tree.
2. Ice skating performances by national champions.
3. Vocal performances by Broadway performers (After all, they need something to do now that the strike is going on two weeks.)

I arrived early enough to only be three people deep from the rink. The tree was lit, the skaters performed, and the Tony winners sang. During all of this entertainment, a man in front of me turned around and asked,

"Would you like to take my spot? You'll be able to see better."

"Oh, no thanks." I said. "I'm fine."

"No, really. Squeeze right in here."

He shuffled me into his spot and I said a polite, "Thank you."

I noticed that as time went on he was pressing quite hard against me. Surely this old man, probably in his sixties, couldn't be getting "fresh" with me. I continued to watch, countering his weight. After all, everyone else is packed in here like sardines too. Why, just a little while ago a woman kept hitting her hands against my buttocks and I finally turned around and said,

"If you don't quit it back there I'm going to have to charge you for what you're doing."

She stopped.

I tired of the skaters and singers and this old man rubbing against me, so I turned and said he could have his spot back; I was leaving.

"Oh, I need to go too," and he followed me out of the throng. "Say, what's your name?"

"Leslie."

"Huh?"

"LESLIE."

"Oh, well, Leslie. I just wanna say something. You're a beautiful woman and I would really like to make love to you."

*blink blink*

"I mean, seriously. What do you say we get a hotel, I'll pay for it. I'll even throw a hundred thousand dollars your way."

*blink blink blink*

"I'm married," I say.

"That's okay. Everybody cheats."

He followed me all the way to the subway station, ten blocks away, trying with all of his might to get me to sleep with him. I told him that I admired his tenacity and, again, NO! I would not sleep with him.

I told my friend this story last night and she said, "Why didn't you sleep with him and take the money?"

My response: CAUSE I'M NOT A HOOKER!